Bringing it to surface...

As soon as people find out you're pregnant you instantly get congratulated (which is wonderful) 

You get asked a million questions such as: 

"Are you hoping for a boy or girl?" 

"Is this your first?" 

"Do you have any names in mind?"

And etc..

Whether it's your first or your fifth

It's an overwhelming joy to know that a human life is growing inside of you. 

At baby showers you are told and warned about the challenges of becoming a mom. You are told to get as much sleep as possible before the baby arrives (yeah sure like you can get any sleep between having to pee and getting comfortable all over again.) 

You are warned about colicky babies and your told over and over that the first few weeks to months are difficult to adjust to. 

You are told about breastfeeding, pumping, bottlefeeding, sleep training, stretch marks and all that mom stuff. 

I always thought people were exaggerating but they weren't

However, I came to find that one thing isn't brought up (maybe because it's not a fun topic to talk about)

No one talks about postpartum depression and anxiety. Heck society has put a stigma on mental diseases that I'm even hesitant to write this blog but if it can reach one mom then my intent has served its purpose. 

Just like pregnancy, birth and motherhood in general every mother has different experiences. The onset of my postpartum depression actually began during the prenatal stages. It's normal for a pregnant woman to become tired, fatigued and overall emotional. For me prenatal depression began towards the end of my pregnancy. Complete and utter sadness took over me like a dark cloudy day. On the exterior I looked as though I had not one single worry but internally I felt terrible. I felt completely alone when I was surrounded by people that love and supported me in every way possible. At first I thought it was one of "those days" where I was in a "funk" but no. Every. Single. Day. Seemed darker than the previous. I began to feel angry at the thought of me not being happy. It was a mental battle. Fighting to be happy and feeling defeated. Another major symptom was over sleeping. As soon as I woke up I would be in bed. All. Day. 

At this point I opened up to a select few like my immediate family and my husband of course. But my emotional state had fluctuated constantly between sadness, anger, irritability and guilt that I felt I had ruined any connection between my husband and I. When in fact this is when communication was crucial. 

I felt like an awful mom. Like a failure. 
I am so thankful for the OBGYN (and the staff members)  I had been seeing since I was around 20 weeks pregnant with Kira. It was at a prenatal appointment that I just broke down in tears. I had no idea why. My doctor came in and handed me a box of tissues. She reassured me that everything was going to be ok. She reassured me that I wasn't alone. She reassured me that we would get through this. I felt safe. 

I knew this wasn't something that should be taken lightly.

Shortly after giving birth the depression peaked and it began to consume me. It took every joy and excitement people should feel when they wake up. I spent most days in bed or crying. And people would ask "why are you sad?" By that time I had no idea if I was sad, happyt or angry. I felt numb. 

Some women feel disconnected or unable to bond with their newborn when experiencing ppd. I never felt that way however I felt the complete opposite. I felt an elevated level of almost paranoia. I didn't want to leave her unattended for 2 seconds even if she was sleeping in her bassinet. Even if dad had her I felt the urge to have to look over at her every second. That was my anxiety kicking in at full speed. I would become so anxious at night that I couldn't sleep even though I hadn't slept for more than 2 hours straight in the last 24 hours. 

I mentioned my worsening symptoms to my doctor and she quickly got me the help I needed with no hesitation. The interesting thing about mental disease is that it's not a over-night cure. It's a process of understanding the human brain and endocrine system. And how a woman's body is out of whack during and after pregnancy. 

Till this very day I'm learning new ways to cope. Some days are much better than others. Some days I just want to climb under a rock and forget about everyone. But my children. They are the reason I strive to overcome this. I will overcome this. No doubt about it. 

Sadly I don't think women have the resources to fully recuperate from pregnancy and birth. Working moms only receive 6 weeks off following a vaginal birth (8 weeks c-section) which is the time depression is at its peak for a postpartum woman. 

Why isn't prenatal or postpartum depression not talked about as often? There's a stigma that comes along with it. People assume that a depressed mother will harm her child(ren) if not herself but unless that mother is educated about the symptoms and red flags rather than be looked at as a threat to her child- it can potentially save a life. Maybe if more medical professionals were educated on the topic we can destigamatize ppd. Maybe if women had more paid time off. Maybe if society didn't put so much pressure on being a mom and all the "mommy wars" that come along with it. Maybe. Just maybe we can destigmatize ppd. 

Not every mom-to-be will experience this. Some give birth and return to work the same week and that's good for them. They should feel fortunate to avoid that dark and emptiness some moms feel. 

As I stated above if I can reach out to one mom-to-be or a postpartum mom then this blog has served its purpose. 

*Please feel free to reach out (immediately) if you feel you may be depressed. You are not alone. 

Links to Prenatal and Postpartum depression:

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/depression-during-pregnancy/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml

If you found this blog helpful please consider subscribing

YOUTUBE LINK: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8tmtmHbQF7epIKGmhvCNqg

-Please excuse any and all grammatical errors. I typically write late at night to ease my mind.

Start back up from where I left off..

Yes I am a bit ashamed and embarrassed to not have updated my blog as I had said I would. What can I say sh*t happens! I am so sorry. If you haven't already be sure to check out my youtube channel (I'm pretty consistent on there) and subscribe to get notified of a new video!

Alright so last time I blogged I gave an over-view of 2015 and all the wonderful blessings that were heading my way! For starters of 2016 my oldest child Nate began kindergarten! How freaking exciting! He had been enrolled in preschool since he was 2 years old so his first day of kinder was a breeze for him. For me... Not so much. I was ecstatic yet sad simply because my first born was starting his education. It still feels as if I brought him home just yesterday. I will go into a more detailed blog post about his first day with photos and such.

Nate on his first day of kinder!

I'm Brittney. Mom of these two beautiful people.

Next. I gave birth to my second child Kira on March 4, 2016. I am a mom of two now! Woo-hoo. I never thought I'd have a second child but it has been a major life blessing and I wouldn't trade this life anything else. Ever. She is now 11 months old today! what the heck. No lie the second time around has just flew by. It makes me so sad yet very happy and grateful to be able to witness these little humans thriving! My heart and hands are so full with these two.
HOWEVER- the change of going from 1 to 2 kids is real! I felt like I started all over again (5 year age gap) and juggling a child in school while breastfeeding, finishing up college and being a wife is by far one of the most challenging experiences ever but I can proudly say that I love my life. I am blessed and thankful.

10 month update on youtube :)

Thankfully I am married to a (sometimes annoying) supportive, caring and loving man. We have been through hell and back it feels like but we have managed to compromise and make this marriage (relationship of 7 years) and family work to the best of our abilities.

Rodriguez Family at Legoland January 2017

Vlog of our adventure on youtube (Brittneyvlogs)

That about wraps up this blog post. I have so much to update you all on. If you want to cut to the chase tune in on youtube and you'll catch up quickly if not I'll be back soon!

xoxo, Brittney.

Ending off an amazing year!

As the year is nearing I look back and feel nothing but gratitude to God for all he helped me endure and accomplish this year. To say 2015 was a "great year" is an understatement. I landed an amazing job that opened up opportunities like no other and has helped determine what it is I want to do with my career path.

 I graduated from College and got accepted to multiple Universities as a first generation college student. 

I got married to an amazing individual who has watched me grow and blossom into the person I am today the last 6 years of my life. I married my best friend on one of the beautiful Islands in the World Maui, Hawaii (and it was my first time flying!) 

2015 is the year my son learned that he is going to be a big brother, and words can't describe how happy Mikey and I are to welcome our baby girl in 2016. Most importantly God has blessed me beyond measure by allowing me to be surrounded by all my loved ones. 

Like I said 2015 was going to be my year... well so will 2016. I am excited and a bit sad to look forward to a new year simply because 2015 was nothing but a blessing year round. To be honest it's not the actual "year" that blessed me but the man up above. However I am extremely excited to enter the new year and enjoy my new baby, my family and all my blessings. Thank you Jah. 

Baby #2 and Gender reveal video

I quickly want to recap on some MAJOR life events that have taken place. If you follow me on social media (IG, facebook, snapchat or watch my Youtube channel) you already know and have known that Mikey and I are expecting our second child! We are beyond excited and cannot wait to meet our new family member.

 7 week ultrasound

13 week ultrasound

 19 week anatomy scan

Nathaniel is excited beyond words and I did not think he would be this happy to have a sibling. I know for a fact he is going to be an amazing big brother!

On December 10 Nathaniel attended a sibling tour class and was introduced on how to swaddle, hold, change and help mommy out when his baby sister comes (pictures to follow). One of my goals this pregnancy is to ensure that Nathaniel feels important and know that he plays a huge part in the arrival of his baby sister. His baby sister has a special gift for brother but little does he know... yet :)

A very excited big brother!

Here are a few photos from ultrasounds and video clips of us doing our small gender reveal (I like intimate gatherings so we told our immediate family members first)

Click on the link to watch a short clip of our gender reveal footage!

Gender Reveal Footage

My tiny baby bump at 19 weeks

The Rodriguez Family.

New addition arriving March 2016.

We love you baby girl.

See you guys next blog post!

xoxo Britt

Catching up...

So it's been almost exactly one year since I've posted on blog... I must say I am disappointed at myself but rather putting forth that energy of being upset I decided to do something about it. There's so much to catch you guys up on it seems like it'll take me a while but let's summarize this as much as possible and as soon as I get on my desktop I can update the blog with photos!

Nathaniel is 4 and half and will be turning 5 in January which is around the corner and at this point I am huge ball of emotions for reasons I will explain in a second. He is the funniest, coolest and sweetest boy I know. Everyday I ask God what did I do to become so blessed with him? I am thankful at the same time. Today he asked if I had ever cooked a chicken? And in response I told him yes and he found that quite odd. It made me wonder what he thought chicken nuggets were made of. He is at the stage of unlimited curiosity and asks questions about questions and it's beautiful to know that Mikey and I are teaching him new things everyday just as he teaches us things we never knew. ..

YouTube videos have been hard to come by simply because I am a mom, go to work and attending school leaving me with limited time to do other activities I enjoy. This is when prioritizing is of importance and not that YouTube isn't important but spending time with my child is on the top of my list but for those that have subscribed to my channel and follow my blog I truly appreciate you. Thank you for bearing with me and random comebacks.

There will have to be a second part to this as I am putting my boy to bed and need major rest as these dark under circles won't go away on their own. Good night... Until next update (hopefully tomorrow) Love you all!

Self-Doubt.

There are times where we self doubt. We question our abilities to reach a goal, any goal for that matter. When I feel like this there are a couple of techniques I use to climb out of that hole fast! I have been at a point in my life where I continued to let those thoughts take over my emotions and I kept digging myself into that hole deeper and deeper. I lacked confidence in myself like never before. Negative self thoughts are never good. It can lead to depression, anxiety and irritability.

Its nearing the end of the semester and the pressure is on like no other. I have 1-2 exams every week and I am sleep deprived, stressed, worried and I have another human life to take of while I'm at it so I had to find ways to make myself feel better. Ever since I made a list it has helped me tremendously. 

Right when you doubt starts creeping in...

#1: Breath, cry if needed but by all means keep calm.

I tend to cry as a way to express my anger, sadness, and even happiness. Crying is a sign of you expressing yourself and don't let others tell you its not okay to cry because it is. It is healthy to release it rather than "bottle it up".

#2: Think about all your current, past & future accomplishments.

Think about and remind yourself of how far you came. What you have accomplished and why you should not feel down about yourself. Focus on the good rather than the negativity at hand.

#3: Pray/Meditate

If you believe in any form of a higher power express yourself that way as well. If you feel you have no one to turn to trust me you do! For myself, prayer is amazing. It has turned such a negative outlook into a positive one and can be utilized anywhere, anytime and at any place. 

#4: Smile.

When you know you're about to have a breakdown just smile. When I smile I tend to laugh and realize that the situation could be worse and just go with the flow life is too short to not smile. Right?

and lastly #5: Take a walk and soak up the beauty of your surroundings

Last time I almost had a nervous breakdown you can guess why... School, homework, exams.. Life! I had so much material I had to cover but I couldn't continue reading with all these thoughts invading my brain so I went outside and felt the breeze whisp through my hair and I closed my eyes and felt the air as I inhaled and exhaled and for about 10 seconds let absolutely nothing else enter my mind other than the inhalation and exhalation of the air that's keeping me alive. 

I opened my eyes and I knew that everything would be fine. Small forks in the road doesn't make the world stop instead find ways to go around it.

Be Happy.

Life Update Continued... School & Work

Welcome back to the continuation of my "Life Update". Last time you visited you should have came across the first part of my life update which was me having a "mommy moment" and giving you an update on my little boy. Now that we covered that portion I am going to move on with work and school. 

I have been attending college while working which has been a major set back in the past as to why I recently have begun attending college full time. It is a challenge to be able to complete school while worrying about bills and taking care of another little human. 

No matter what I have always been attending school and I also work because the only person who helps me financially would be Mikey. He is very supportive in all the decisions I make and he is always there for support in any way possible.

School has been crazy. Actually I have probably been the crazy one that didn't know what I wanted to do. When I had realized what it was I wanted to do as a career I had a premature baby boy and did not know where to start. Keep in mind that I will am the first generation in my family to attend college so I had no clue what I was doing. After Nathaniel had been born and dealing with certain medical conditions of his I realized that being a Nurse is something I could see myself doing. A Neonatal Nurse Practitioner to be exact.

That vulnerable, hopeless feeling of having a premature baby is one of the worst positions to be in as a mother. I watched my son struggle to breath and eat normally however I now know that god helped me get thru but also to help me realize what it is I wanted to do. My dream is to help parents young or old go thru this difficult life experience and know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Also to never give up on their own hopes. I have made nurse friends who were taking care of my son when I wasn't allowed to hold him (due to being in the incubator and breathing tubes) and they inspired me.

So I am completing the last two nursing school prerequisites (prerequisites are specific courses needed to be admitted into a nursing program. Please note: all prerequisites vary depending on nursing program of interest) that I need to apply to Bachelors of Science in Nursing (BSN programs)!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!

What does that mean? That means it is time for me to apply to nursing schools. I will be applying in a few months to nursing programs in hopes of being accepted! 

What happens if you get accepted?

When I get accepted... Shit will get real. haha.

Seriously that means once the program begins I need to buckle down even more and prepare for the ride of a life time. 

BSN programs usually take around 2-3 years to complete depending on several factors. So the next 2-3 years of my life will = NO LIFE. I will complete the nursing program with honors. I have been completing my associates degree with above average GPA I know I can get my Bachelors with honors as well.

I know that its going to be the most challenging 2 years of my life thus far however it will be worth it.

Some of you may ask what happens if you don't get accepted?

I have plan A,B,C,D,E,F..... up to plan Z.

I am serious I have been working extremely hard to not get accepted into a program that this is NOT an option for me. In other words if one school doesn't accept me thats ok because I will be applying to several schools. They will get so sick of me that one will eventually accept me. hehehe.

I will not give up. Its not a choice for me.

I am very excited for my very near future academically, personally and spiritually. God has been amazing to me and my family.Nothing but happiness has been entering our lives and I would not have been here where I am at today as the person I am without the big man up above. 

Quick recap. Some of you may be thinking who gives a poop whats going on with this chick but quite frankly I do. I write this blog not just for my loyal subscribers and friends/family but also to keep my memory fresh and be able to look back and understand past struggles I have overcame to motivate to overcome new obstacles. Its also going to be great for my son to be able to read what his mom has had to go thru all for him. Plus there are also people who are curious as to why I haven't been up to date with my youtube channel and I feel horrible for leaving people out of the loop. I put myself out there and made friends and I want to continue that friendship thru other means such as my blog. That is why I haven't made any videos... I am so busy but I don't forget about my loyal peoples! 

I hope you all enjoyed this blog and got something from it. Thanks for stopping by. If you have any blog requests or any questions at all feel free to leave them down below and I will get back to you asap.

"If you can't stop thinking about it, don't stop working for it"

Love, Brittney

Life Update

About 2 days ago I attempted to film a "Life Update" video. 1st attempt battery was too low and 2nd attempt Nathaniel kept talking to me and so I decided not to film it at all. It just wasn't meant to be. 

So here I am! Giving you a quick life update via blogger.

Where to begin... Ahhhh yes. Most importantly. Nathaniel...

He is now 3 years old and is very independent. He enjoys doing things on his own like 

• changing his clothes
• pouring his own milk (which 99% of the time leads to spills)
• buckling himself into his carseat
• riding a tricycle
• washing his hands without reminders
• blowing bubbles (his favorite)
• folding laundry (or at least he trys)

I can go on... but I want to keep this short. He has grown into his own individual and thats something that no one can take away from him. He is a very artsy little boy. He loves cutting shapes, painting, coloring especially now that he knows to color within the lines. He enjoys putting puzzles together. 

My favorite hobby of his is he LOVES to record himself on our cell phones and even grabs my camera and starts talking to the camera as if its his friend. Hmm I wonder where he got that from!? No matter what it is his little heart desire I will be certain to stimulate his interest as much as possible. I am so eager to continue to his individuality appear even more as he grows. 

My little spider-man fresh out the bath on a summer day 6/2014

Sometimes I get so caught up with life and how I want to accomplish several long term goals within the next few years but then I catch myself and reality... My goals will be accomplished no matter what but this boy will not be this age forever. I try and enjoy the "now" as much as possible because the "now" will soon be a distant memory that will forever live in my heart. I just want to try and capture it all in, mentally and visually (via blog and photos/videos) So parents enjoy that precious infant/toddler/preschooler/child as much as possible. Looking back at my life as I update you all on it I no longer have a breastfeeding infant. I now I have my 3 year old preschooler who by the way enjoys going to school so very much. He has developed tremendously right before my eyes and quite frankly its out of my control but I will savor every second.

Stay tuned for next blog- Life Update:School, work & relationship...

Be prepared for the first day of college.

I have been attending community college for a little over 2 years now. Yes I know according to many people community college is only for 2 years. Well let me tell you its not in everyones favor to attend college full time for 4 semesters. I sure wasn't able to due to my life circumstances and I'm fine with that because I will finish school when I am able to. So back to the blog post...
I decided to write up a quick blog for those entering their first semester/quarter in college or those just looking for tips on how to be prepared for the first day of school!
Everything I am going to suggest have been thru trial and error for me these past few years and this is what works for me and keeps me ready and passing my classes with a "high B" GPA. So if your wondering how can I be prepared for my first day? Read on!
***Get a goodnights rest. Eat a healthy breakfast... Now go kick butt!

• First. Know the classes you will be taking and the location. If you weren't able to register for a class but NEED it, crash. Print out a campus map. You don't want to show up late to class on the first day. Why not? You want to stay on the professors good side and that is not a good first impression. Plus you dont want a room full of 30+ students to stare you down as you walk in late. Its awkward.
• What does crashing a class mean? It means you are not registered but will show up on time to the class and see if any registered students did not show up with hopes of taking their spot. (Please note not all professors accept crashers, so be sure to ask before class begins so you will not waste time) So show the professor that you are determined to take the class and will patiently wait to see if any spots are available.
• Come to class PREPARED! Its better to bring more than enough supplies in your backpack as opposed to NONE. The professor will take note as to who comes prepared and who doesn't. I suggest bringing (the following also depends on the course, if its a math or science there should be more supplies, but heres a basic list)
• Spiral Notebook paper
• 3 ring binger
• pencil (sharpener if possible)
• pen
• eraser
• highliters
• flash cards
• loose leaf paper
• Required textbooks (more on this to follow)
• Listening ears
• laptop if you prefer to type out notes (optional)
• so much more but the above are the "basics"
• BE EXTRA PREPARED! how? Be sure to buy and bring along your textbook to class. There are professors that ask if any student has the textbook on hand to show the class what is required (they should already know this) and it looks very good on the student who can lend the professor their textbook. Aside from that you SHOULD read the chapter that will be discussed beforehand!!!!! This will help you understand any material that will be discussed and you can gather questions to ask professor during or after class. Classes are not long enough to cover entire chapters therefore know the material before the professor introduces it. Plus you wont fall behind with assigned readings.
• ASK QUESTIONS! Don't be shy! You are paying for this course and have every right to ask a question. There is never a dumb question. Instead its dumb NOT to ask questions. Plus some professors include questions as participation points and they do take note of those that participate in class discussions. As for there being so many other people that might make you shy, have no fear once the course is done, you will most likely NEVER see them again. 
• READ THE ENTIRE SYLLABUS. The first day of class will consist of roll calling and handing out the class syllabus. The syllabus consists of what is expected from you for that course and how your professor will grade. Most importantly it gives you future assignments and sometimes dates. Its a very bright idea to write these down in a planner and slowly work on the assignments. This is also a good time to ask about absences or extra credit (if your into that)
• BRING A SNACK or at least WATER. Some professors allow water in the class and its good to be hydrated. I find that I start to feel lazy and tired if I don't drink water or have a quick snack before class. You don't want to be in class with a growling stomach or not pay attention due to hunger. 
• SIT IN THE FRONT. Ewww who does that? I do. As I have been attending college I came to realize that my grades were much better if I sat closer to the front of the classroom. Its because when you sit in the back people are talking, laughing, texting or you just tend to zone out. If you are in the front you will be able to see and hear the professor clearly. You will also be able to see what is being written on the board or on a Powerpoint. Trust me if your professor uses power points and you sit in the back you will have problems seeing and understanding what is being discussed. Who's problem will that be? Yours. Sit up front. 
• Last but not least BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Believe in yourself that you will get thru the semester with flying colors. You are in charge of your grades and your studying. So put it in your mind that you will get an A in all classes because you should be aiming in that direction. 

I hope these tips were helpful and if you want to see future blog post about school then comment down below. Thats all I have for now. Have a great first day of school! 

Love, Brittney.

Toddler/Preschool Meal Idea #1

• • Don't know what to feed your picky eater? Well I am going to begin posting some toddler/preschool meal ideas. I have a picky eater who really doesn't eat animal products except for dairy (milk and cheese) aside from that he dislikes meat/chicken/fish and eggs. I have tried countless time to have him eat a small portion but he refuses. However I am very aware of his protein intake and thank goodness he loves nut butters, beans and whole grain foods. I def do my research because every child is different. So in this meal I corporated pasta with meat sauce (he disliked the meat but loved the sauce and pasta) for his main dish. For sides I offered blueberries and Greek yogurt with granola. His choice of drink was water. This is just a quick dinner meal idea for toddlers. It's homemade, healthy and fulfilling. Feel free to share to your toddler meal ideas below if you have any! Thanks for stopping by.

    
    

    Xoxo Brittney.

    
    

    
    

    Here is a photo of his plate half way thru dinner

    
    

    

    
    

    Please comment down below for your ideas and for more blog posts!

    :D

    
    

Nathaniels 3rd Birthday

(Birthday Boy blowing out his candles. He is now a 3 year old)

To start off this blog I want to THANK everyone who wished my son a happy birthday! It was a memorable Birthday just like the rest. He started his day off with his Tia and cousins at Chuck E. Cheese and we spent time together, laughed and played. Then we ended his 3rd Birthday with family over at our house to enjoy some pizza and cake. (A great combo for kids, right?) We sang happy birthday and enjoyed spending time with him (like we do everyday). He got lots of toys. The last gift from his mommy & daddy will be a trip to DISNEYLAND!!!!! Hes excited. I did vlog his day and linked the video to this blog. If you continue to watch the etnire vlog, at the end I started a new tradition which is to ask him some questions to see what his likes/dislikes are. He just turned 3 so his interview was so funny but most of all it was cute! I hope you enjoy it. Once again thanks for stopping by and cant wait to have you back! Dont forget to follow me on IG for more photos and updates! 

xoxo Brittney.

Nathaniels 3rd Birthday Adventures + Funny ending!

On this very night 3 years ago.. (written last night)

It is 8:50pm. I am trying to make it a habit to write everyday of this New Year! Okay well I know thats not going to happen! Grrr. I want to post exactly what Nathaniel is doing. I am going to vlog but I am leaning towards keeping those videos as home footage only not for the public to see. Still deciding.

Earlier today was a emotional rollercoaster for me. Why? It hit me that my baby boy is no longer a "babu boy" but a growing toddler. He went thru the preemie stage, the newborn stage and the infant stage in the blink of an eye. I cant believe how much he has grown and how much he has learned. He went from not being able to breath alone to now speaking in full sentences using "big" words for his age and remembering stories well enough to tell them by himself. 

This very night 3 years ago (I was 33 weeks and 5 days) I was waiting at an Amtrak station waiting for my grandparents to get their Train Ride back to Texas. Their initial train was supposed to arrive around 5:30-6:00 pm and my grandpa being the way he is, he HAD to arrive at least 30 mins prior. So we had arrived at the station around 4:30pm. Waiting and waiting as each train passed right by us blowing so much wind that we would all squint our eyes lol. It was already cold during this time of year. I had on warm winter clothes. 7:00 snuck around and no train had arrived. 8, 9o'clock and still no train. I suddenly had this urge to go pee so badly and did I mention that the train station was located outdoors? Anyway I had to peepee real bad and there was a public co-ed bathroom which I went into and wasnt shocked that it smelled terrible and the toilet seat had been bombarded with poop and pee and not to mention hairs all over the toilet bowl. They looked like pubic hairs and at that moment I wanted to barf, and yes I did gag a little. I refused to use that bathroom being pregnant I did not want to put myself at any risk for illnesses. By that time I had to go pee so bad but I decided I would just hold it in (I later discovered that was a VERY BAD idea.) After ignoring my bodys messages I no longer felt the need to go. The train arrived around 10:45 isn? Finally. However good byes were not fun and I had already missed my graandparents before they stepped foot in the train. We gave our hugs and said our goodbyes. 

It was time to go home after hours of waiting for the train and hours of ignoring the urge to go we headed back home which was approx 45 mins- 1 hour commute. My parents drove me home that night. It was past 1 am by the time I got home, showered, snacked and went to bed. 

On January 8, 2011 around 5am I awoke to the worst back and abdominal pain I had ever experienced. I could not even turn my body over. I felt as if I had a broken back and I felt excruciating cramps. Thankfully my parents lived down the street from me so I was able to reach over to my nightstand where my phone laid, charging. I called my mom in tears explaining the agony I was experiencing. My mom rushed over to my place and unlocked the door. (Yes my mother has a spare to my house) my dad came with her and had to carry me into the truck because I was still in lots of pain. I arrived at the hospital shortly after 5:30 am and was immediately put on IV, and they did blood work and Nathaniel was being monitored closely. I was still experiencing major cramping. My doctor was not able to make it out so that morning I had to be seen by an on-call doctor. At that point I did not care who was there I just needed to know that Nathaniel was ok. Doctor came and checked me and I was dilated and somewhat effaced. The doctor explained to me that some health problems had occurred and at that point the safest thing to do was to keep an eye on my contractions that were occurring frequently. Few hours passed it was around 7:30 and doctor came in and contractions were still going, but at a faster pace. The doctor explained that the safest thing to do would be to break my water and begin active labor.

My mom, my two sisters were there from the early morning and called Mikey and told him this was not a false alarm after all. That today at some time we would have our baby boy here! 

At around 7:50-8:00 the doctor came in and got labor started! Doctor broke my water and thats when sh*it got real. I had thought I was feeling "contractions" but once my water was broken it was cramps on a whole notha level. So my labor began at approx 8am. I was nervous yet excited that my son was finally going to be here however I was a bit nervous knowing that he was going to be early but hey how bad could 34 weeks be?

Fast forward to 12 hours later 8:12 pm came around and after about 45 mins of pushing came my beautiful son Nathaniel Michael Rodriguez 5lbs 11oz.  I remember his cry being so low and hearing wheezing but my first instinct was to hold him and to soothe him however I could. Holding him right after giving birth was the most amazing feeling. It was almost as if my mind had blocked out every person in the room. It blocked out all the noise. I can clearly remember holding him on my chest and feeling his small, new body up against mine. As he was crying I told him "Its ok papa, mommy is here, everything is going to be ok" and his crying stopped. Not only was my son born but so was a mother. Before he was born I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea how much love was awaiting this little human. Immediately after those amazing moments the  NICU team took Nathaniel to examine him. I knew something wasn't right. 

Nathaniel came unexpectedly on Jan 8th, his initial due date was February 12, 2011. He was born at 34 weeks exactly and  until he was sent that very same night to another hospital to be admitted into a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) had I known that every week, day, hour & second had mattered for unborn babies. Each day counted because each day they would develop physically into healthy newborns. I had continually kept praying to god to keep my son safe and no matter how long it took for him to be 100% healthy I would wait.

Nathaniel had remained in the NICU from his date of birth to Jan 30th. For the first two weeks of his life I was unable to hold him due to being attached to tubes and monitors. I can say that they were the hardest two weeks of my entire life. My arms were like magnetic to him yet I didn't want to disrupt anything. I needed him to get better so he can come home where all his family were waiting for him. His new bassinet (which was never slept in) was waiting for him. 

January 30th came around an I was able to take him home. Those few weeks in the NICU was amazingly hard experience but never once had I left his side. I practically lived in the NICU on a small rocking chair that was right next to his tiny hospital bed.  

This was quite a long story and is still being written. As a mother my journey is still ongoing and continue to face challenges and I get to experience many amazing moments with my son. We learn from one another and we grow with one another.

Now on January 10, 2014 I sit here looking at my now 3 year old, healthy and happy son navigating my iPhone to look at my photos (he loves looking at photos of relatives) and wearing his spiderman costume because he is OBSESSED with superheroes especially spiderman. I can only be extremely thankful that everything turned out as it did because I know it was for a reason and it could have been much worse but my outlook on this whole experience is that god took care of him and he continues to do so. Thank you Jah.

                                                              Happy 3rd Birthday Nathaniel 

*If you havent watched Nathaniels birth video feel free to do so. 
Hope you all enjoyed this post and follow me on IG @ Spideysmom11

Parenting Book I have been loving...

I enjoy reading books of all sorts from Fiction to Non-Fiction but my favorite books are psychology type books and parenting books. I have ready several books and can say that some authors dont have the same views as parenting styles as I do. I want to share a poem that I read which lead to the book I am currently loving. The poem is "Children Learn what they live"

As I read this poem I thought "yes very true" and so I came across her book which is depicted from her poem. I loved the poem so I thought I would check out the book and I am loving it. Its a fine balance between being a loving yet understanding parent and sometimes those two can be quite difficult to use at once. I dont want to spoil the book by any means so I suggest parents to be or parents who enjoy reading books like this to check out amazon to order  this book. I did so and I bought this book for about $6. If you want to know what other parenting or books in general that I liked/disliked than stick around for more! 

unil next time my loves,

Xoxo Brittney

A few of our last 2013 photos together

Just finished making dinner so I now have time to post on here! Yay for time management! Tonights Blog is going to consist of the last photos of Nathaniel and I. So there is a story behind it. People probably wonder why Mikey isn't in the photos. It all starts with both of our completely busy lives and so we had scheduled the photos weeks prior to the actual date we took them and something kept coming up that delayed the photos. Christmas Day came around and my sister was available for photos and so was I unfortunately Mikey wasn't. He had fell asleep very late due to Christmas Eve and visiting family. So Chrstimas morning came and he was very tired and I was tired of rescheduling so we took them and this how they came out.... Trust me we will be taking some "Family Portraits" very soon but in the meantime these work for me.

Each and every single photo is completely cherished by me and I want to thank my sister Evelyn for taking the time and making these picture so beautiful. These were the last of our 2013 photos.

(If you would like to contact her for business  inquiries just ask)

Until next time my loves.

Xoxo Brittney & Nathaniel

Positivity starts now!!!!

The holidays have flown by once again and it's that time of year again...

A New Year is approaching! It's exciting to me yet a bit nerve wrecking simply because I think about everything that can possibly go wrong lol and this is what led me to this particular blog. My MAJOR goal for the upcoming year that has began now is to let go of negativity and just the positivity flow right in. In all honesty it's easier said than done! Right now  relaxing and writing this blog but once I hit the real world man can other humans get on my damn nerve... But this is the type of thinking I AM going to let go. I'm sure many of you can relate to having negative and harsh thinking toward others especially those we love. It is sad but it is true and in this blog I want to introduce my new series of positivity blogs! Woohoo! Lets see what techniques I can apply in my own life and share with each of you! I have started reading many books on this and been applying it. I'm not perfect in any shape or form but every day that I wake up gives me an opportunity to be a more positive and upbeat person than I was the day before! Some may ask "well where do I start"? You can start NOW!!!! How? When you are alone at some point thins day really, deeply focus and name at least 5 blessing or 5 things that you are extremely grateful for! Once you think of them write them down in a journal or even your phone! Do this everyday because everyday there is at least one thing to be grateful for an if you can't think of anything think about that fact that your breathing at this moment or that you have the ability to read this blog! So for this first blog series I want you to begin with exercising not on physically but exercising gratitude. Gratitude is a positive attribute that leads to a much better day. Try it and let me know how the first day went! Till next time my wonderful readers!

Always begin and end your day with a smile

:D

Hello my loves!

Soooooo I have been SUPER BUSYYYYY!!! I apologize for not keeping up with my blog but I decided to take control of my time and schedule and updating my blog/youtube is a stress reliever for me, believe or not. I find myself being able to connect with so many wonderful individuals that may be experiencing the same circumstances that I may be facing. I am here to help and listen to anyone who needs it. I am open arms and listening ears. Aside from that I have also been reading many books including the bible and trying to connect with my inner self and my inner thoughts and I found it highly important to take time for yourself and focus on everything you have rather than what you don't have. 

This lead me to film the video which I have posted dow below. Its about finding time for yourself. Many people live their life in a rush and not enjoying the fact that their breathing. I took a step back and I realized that I needed to slow it down a bit. Mentally, physically and emotionally I felt drained. So I have been taking baby steps to improving my way of living and feeling. I will be making videos on steps and technquies I have been putting to use in my life to enhance my thoughts and emotions. 

If you are ready to enjoy life and gain a wonderful feeling of self improvement click on the video down below and follow me on this journey of loving one self...because doing so will lead in loving others unconditionally.

Thank you for visiting. Please feel free to contact me. I am only a click away! Enjoy.